I've long heard it said that parents can (and should) be able to do it all--keep a nice home, raise great kids, work full time, stay financially solvent, be healthy, etc. In 24 years of parenting four kids, I've realized that not only is that thinking flawed, it's dangerous. You can't have it all--something gives somewhere, often where you least expect it. We shouldn't expect perfection of ourselves or other parents. And most intolerable of all, is when one parent capitalize on another parent's failures to highlight her own apparently successful parenting. It's easy to pass judgement on someone else, more difficult to see our own flaws. What that boils down to is competition. And competition among parents is particularly toxic. Here's why.
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